Thank you Reactive Candy for putting this great video on facebook! It was a 10 minute flashback of my life. As the video started, with each snippet of song I was transported back to some place in my past. Each song reminded me of some part of my youth. The memories are very specific about a certain party, a particular person, a perfect moment in time.
Until 1986.
I remember all of the songs but after 1986 I don't have a memory of an event to match up. 1986 was also the year when I became a mother. Is there a correlation?
Was motherhood the cause of this stoppage of song-related memories? Too busy with children to have a social life? I really do believe pregnancy zaps your memory (otherwise who would have more than one child?) Was I just growing up and my interests changed from music to other more cerebral things? What is the explanation?
Maybe the music in the late 80's was just too bad to enjoy with a memorable event. Whose idea was the whole big hair thing?
It is now officially over. The annual week off from work scheduled to let us rest up to regain our strength to make it through the sprint of the last term of the school year. During my career I have spent March break in one of three ways:
traveling
OR
hockey tournaments
OR
sleeping on the couch
In the past I have travelled to a variety of places. There was the Carribean cruise I won in a contest. My father actually bought the ticket for me. I still remember the moment my mother called to tell me I had won the big prize and I was upset because I owed my father $10.00 for the ticket. I realize now the biggest prize wasn’t actually the cruise around the Carribean but the fact my parents agreed to baby sit the kids for the week. There were only two kids then, Greg was 2 and Kaitlin was 7 months old……I STILL owe my mother for that one. Years later, thanks to Terry staying home to look after the kids, I traveled to Italy and another year Greece with my colleagues.
Then there were the many years of spending March break in arenas throughout Southern Ontario and Western New York.Greg and Kaitlin both played travel hockey so there was lots of time spent watching kids play hockey at the arena and more time watching kids play mini sticks in hotel hallways. (Ed, do they play mini sticks in Germany?)
Then there were the last few March breaks spent sleeping on the couch recuperating from those years of travel, hockey, parenting, working and, and, and, and, and………As the kids aged and I wasn’t needed as a taxi driver any longer I finally had the opportunity to catch up on my much needed sleep.
This March Break was different. As an empty nester I was finally rid of parental responsibilities and I had enough energy to actually do something. While many of my colleagues were heading south I was most excited about the opportunity to DO NOTHING. I did not achieve my goal but I am quite pleased with all of the things I was able to do.
Here is what I did this last week:
went to a 30th birthday party and rediscovered my youth
cleaned and reorganized the walk in closet so I can find my clothes in the morning
went for Sunday afternoon drinks at Scorecards even though football season is over
celebrated St. Patrick’s Day with style at the Lions Hotel in downtown Port Dalhousie (see picture above)
went for five early morning walks (OK, not that early, but during March Break anything before noon is early)
interviewed 3 people in preparation for an upcoming article I am writing (improving your business through Social Media.....August edition of Business Niagara magazine)
networked and made contact with an editor of a new national magazine
confirmed two new articles to write -anyone know anything about eco tourism?
rented out the cottage for a couple of weeks this summer (certainly mixed feelings about this one)
hostessed a real grown-up dinner party (our neighbours are so much fun!!)
learned to make tea (don’t even ask why I didn’t know how to do that before!!)
gathered up all my stuff to get my taxes done (With a father as a CA this one wasn’t very hard)
had lunch with colleagues (three times)
visited with Kaitlin
visited with Greg and my new grand-dog Tyson
messaged Jennifer through Facebook to arrange her new apartment in Kingston
went on a bunch of walks with Journey because the weather was absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!!!
Shaved my cactus winter legs
Admired Terry’s new glasses he bought without my help (yes, that was stressful)
had breakfast with colleagues (OK, technically that hasn’t happened yet…but it’s scheduled for a few hours from now
The only problem is, in one short week I was able to restructure my lifestyle but now how am I ever going to fit going back to work into my schedule????
The other night Terry and I went to a birthday party for someone turning 30! Initially I was a little reluctant to go as the last time we hung out with this crowd I didn’t think I kept up. After awhile there was only so much I could contribute to any conversation as they all work together, they are single, no kids and did I mention in their 20’s? (Just for the record I haven’t seen 20 in 25 years......OK its 28 years)
Something happened since I last saw this gang. They went from 20 something to 30ish. They are all now married with kids, and more on the way. I should have clued in things had changed by the time and location of the party. It started at 4:30 at Boston Pizza in the Falls. This is the BP with the bowling alley and tons of video games etc. Upon our arrival I quickly realized this was not going to be a party where I can’t keep up with the drinking, it’s going to be where I can’t keep up with the little kids in attendance! The party didn’t last long as the toddlers got tired and had to get home for bedtime. While earlier I was nervous I couldn’t make it through the party it turned out Terry and I were the last to leave!
While the young moms and dads were starting to pack up a woman Terry works with arrived with her new fiancé. Well, he wasn’t exactly new. The story is they dated for a few years as teen-agers and went on their separate life paths. As they became single once again, now in their 50’s, they have reconnected and are planning to get married! It was such a sweet tale.
As I asked millions of questions, which I am told is what I do, I discovered her fiancé and I were from the same hometown! Yes, we both grew up in Owen Sound, went to the same high school, were taught by the same teachers. Denis is a few years older then me but knew all of the older brothers and sisters of the kids I hung out with as a teen-ager. Names and places I hadn’t heard or thought of in decades came rushing through our memories. We had a great time connecting and remembering similar stories of our youth.
What a small world!
So while I thought I was spending the evening with a bunch of “young kids” I ended up reminiscing about my life when I was even younger.
As part of our annual girls’ week-end at SaskatchewanLake, it became tradition to present me with hostess gifts. I did appreciate the gesture of a good guest but felt it was unnecessary for any more scented candles and other girly things at the cottage. After much discussion around the camp fire it was decided for the next girls’ week-end, instead of traditional hostess gifts, each guest would bring an item more appropriate for the cottage – specifically the outhouse.
The next summer guests arrived with their contribution. Unbeknownst to me, they had secretly decided upon a decorating theme, sunflowers. Before I knew it my sister-in-law Jenny was cutting through the outhouse wall creating a new window and my mother-in-law was on the roof tearing off shingles older than her. The outhouse redecorating project had become a full-fledged renovation! This was not a week-end of pampered woman indulging themselves; it was liberated women using power tools.
Suddenly the modern women image evaporated when everyone began screaming all at once. With the removal of the final ancient shingle, mice had appeared! Small innocent rodents were able to send six strong women off running in different directions.
Once we regained our composure we were able to finish the project. Our outhouse now has a new leaf-proof roof, a window to provide ventilation and much to Terry's chagrin, lots of sunflower paraphernalia.
While we were proud of our accomplishment, our subsequent girls week-ends have returned to the previous agenda, which does not included power tools.
In an earlier post I mentioned a pet sitting adventure where Terry failed miserably, although I give him kudos for trying.
Jennifer was in about grade 7 and decided she wanted her own pet hamster. With her babysitting money she purchased the hamster as well as all of the paraphernalia associated with hamster ownership. To her credit she did a good job looking after it since I proclaimed loudly to anyone who would listen a hamster is just a rodent with a cute coat. Jennifer became a good hamster caregiver………..until that fateful day.
It was one of the first beautifully warm Saturdays in June. The pool in the backyard was freshly re-opened for the season and Terry was tending to the gardens. Just as I was leaving to get groceries for the week Jennifer put the hamster into one of those round toy hamster balls to let him roll around the backyard while she cleaned out his cage. She asked Terry to keep an eye on the hamster while she cleaned out the cage. He said sure….how hard could it be? OK, maybe that’s not what he said but I bet that was what he was thinking!
A few minutes later Jennifer returned to the back yard and asked Terry where the hamster was. So intent on trying to determine the difference between weeds and flowers Terry did not notice the hamster had rolled into the pool. Terry quickly took action and fished the hamster ball from the depths of the water. There were no vital signs. Terry desperately tried to save the rodent’s life. He started CPR on the hamster. He put the hamster on its back and gently pushed on his chest to try to bring him back to life. Jennifer was the one who convinced Terry to “call it” and the time of death was approximately 15 minutes after I had left for groceries.
While Terry was very upset his first attempt to safe a life did not succeed, Jennifer dealt with her grief quite well.
Less than an hour later I arrived back home with a trunk full of groceries. In the meantime the hamster had been buried in the garden, the cage and all hamster belongs had been washed and donated to the kids Jennifer babysat around the corner. Any signs of hamster life in our household were completely gone.
While I was the one who never wanted the rodent in the house in the first place it did take me aback that a “family member” could be so quickly and easily discarded. Let’s hope Jennifer never has to make the decisions if we get put on life-support!
As I mentioned a few posts ago, Jennifer and the Jessicas spent a few days of their Reading Week here in Port Dalhousie. We live in a condo right on Main Street, a very brief walk from all the action ……..in the summer. During the warm monthsPort is the place to be for all of the university aged kids. There is a small strip of bars where all of the kids hang out which includes “My Cottage”, an indoor-outdoor bar which holds up to 2000+ kids doing whatever kids do at that age…..I’m not sure if I really don’t remember, or I am desperately trying not to remember because my kids are now that age.
Anyway……..the point is Port Dalhousie is a fabulous place for young people to hang out in the summer. Reading week is not summer.
Jennifer and the Jessicas arrived on a Sunday evening in time for me to prepare a roast beef dinner. I was trying very hard to be a Beaver Cleaver mother but I am sure I didn’t fool anyone. Fortunately someone gave us the game Cranium as a Christmas gift and the girls kept themselves busy while drinking Pepsis and red wine. The girls then took off to do a tour of the Falls. Living so close to Niagara Falls we often forget it truly is one of the Wonders of the World. February in the dark is probably not the best time to view the Falls. The girls had a good time however doing the touristy “Clifton Hill” thing and I have to admit I enjoyed the pics of their visit to Madame Tussade’s wax museum. They got there near closing time on Sunday night and were the only ones in the place so they got to pose in various positions with the waxed celebrities.
I believe it was after the museum visit they did the famed visit to Boston Pizza. All I know I woke up in the morning and the fridge was totally empty except for beautifully packaged left over meals from Boston Pizza. Having no prepared breakfast, no lunch to take to work, I pried open one of the packages and found these little morsels of food. I swear I only took two little bites…it was quite good for left-overs. But I realized it was not my food so I only took TWO bites, assuming it hadn’t been counted and weighed. I was wrong.
When I arrived home from work I was sharply accused of eating HALF of the meal. I did NOT eat HALF of the meal……..I wanted to, but I didn’t. So until this day I have ignored the question about the mysterious disappearance of Jessica’s food. (I don’t know which one of the Jessica was missing their food, I just know according to Jennifer it was the crime of the century)
So instead of Jennifer and the Jessicas having a nice visit drinking red wine playing Cranium, touring St. Catharines, Niagara Falls, Kilt and Clover and the Chili Pepper, shopping trip to the States, and all they can remember is that some of their left overs got eaten……hmmmmm….….why is everything always blamed on the mother??
I came across an article in the Globe and Mail regarding "Happiness". One thing led to another and I ended up getting in touch with someone compiling a book of essays about what makes people happy. She invited me to submit my own essay. I'm not sure what will come of it but in case the book doesn't become a best seller I thought I would share my essay here.
My happiness depends upon my cycle. No, not THAT cycle….. my happiness cycle.
After much reflection I have determined what really makes me happy. I had the AHA moment. I realized nothing makes me happy. I realized everything makes me happy. What makes me happy today will not make me happy next week. My happiness cycle is a gentle ebb and flow of thoughts, feelings and reactions to life’s events determining the degree of my happiness.
My family makes me happy. My children have grown to be independent, successful young adults. I believe my biggest achievement was the day they all moved out to be on their own. Yet I miss them. I miss the days of phones ringing and being needed for rides and food and mom advice. Now I look forward to their texts, their phone calls and their visits. Their arrival back home makes me happy. I bask in their energy and their youthfulness. But then I begin to feel the shift. I start to tire of being the responsible one, the one who is expected to know the answers to their life questions, especially when they choose to do what they were going to do anyway. When the door shuts behind them as they leave, there is peace and quiet and I am happy again. But a few days go by and I yearn for their return.
My job makes me happy. My job makes me feel successful and respected. It is a reason to get out of bed in the morning. I have a purpose in life and a pay cheque to almost pay for my lifestyle. But after too many days in a row of everyone needing me and having to crawl out of bed with too little sleep, I yearn for retirement. The stress starts to wear at my body and mind. The holidays always seem to arrive just as I think I am about to break. Much needed time off allows me to unwind and relax, but before long I feel once again the pendulum begin to sway and I long to be back to work, back to being needed.
Our cottage makes me happy. The first time we arrive in the spring we are welcomed by smells of nature and the view of the overflowing lake. The broken pipes and mice droppings don’t dampen my happiness at all. Nothing is as perfect as the first trip to the cottage in spring. Our time there in the spring is short, snippets of time we grab on week-ends between long weeks of work. Then summer finally arrives and I spend endless weeks at our lakeside retreat. As two weeks becomes three and four, my love affair starts to wane. The slowness of the lake begins to bore and I yearn for the return of work and routines of the city. The pendulum begins to swing back, marking my happiness cycle.
